Depression

Discussion in 'Masculinity and Lifestyle' started by Rudy, Feb 22, 2017.

  1. Tzar

    Tzar

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    For the most part, he seemed pretty happy in Japan, so I was happy for him. He was miserable in the States, so hearing about his adventures in Asia was great. I wish him the best.
     
  2. sasquatch

    sasquatch Moderator

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    Holy shit, I forgot about that. I vaguely remember him mentioning that in the early days on the hall. Probably when we were still hosted by FatCow.
     
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  3. SMASHING MACHINE

    SMASHING MACHINE

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    Rudy is an inevitable aortic aneurysm dissection, he knows it, and doesn't give a fuck about it. I respect him because of that mindset and his call to real action. He is willing to die to live at the top. That is a real throwback. Regret on your deathbed is a real thing... something Rudy doesn't have to worry about much. He will go lights out lifting a quarter-ton atlas stone and become a martyr in the cause of strength.

    He still needs a CPAP.
     
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  4. Manko

    Manko

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    Even if I give him one of my old (still functional) CPAPs, I doubt he'll use it.
     
  5. Rheinkreis

    Rheinkreis

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    I remember that well. Even Arthur dropped the tough guy act long enough to express sincere sympathy.
     
  6. Contra

    Contra

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    I still feel bad for the fact that I ever had a feud with Rudy. We had just buried the hatchet and become totally at ease with each other. Hope he comes back to the site some day. It would be awesome if we had some chance encounter during my time over here even though I know that's kind of a longshot.

    Slipping back into depression recently. Typhoons have been horrible this year. The combination of bad sea states, a cold that wouldn't go away for weeks thanks to all the navy retards onboard getting it over and over and not washing their hands properly, and not being on a regular sleep schedule has all eaten into gym time like crazy. Plus there's a whole security detail on the ship that never does a freaking thing and are pretty much entirely useless, so they spend all their free time in the gym. For those reasons I haven't worked out regularly in about a month and my conditioning is garbage. When I have worked out, I get exhausted after about fifteen minutes because the only place on board I can go that has any kind of equipment is about a hundred degrees all the time because no AC gets fed to that space, hence why no one really goes there. Fatigue is constant and caffeine doesn't seem to have any effect anymore. I've tried tea, coffee, 5 hour energy, and pre workout and nothing really works all that well. Hydroxycut just dehydrates the hell out of me even if I drink water all day. Weight has crept up above 230 again and I'm still relatively well built based on what I had been doing months ago, but I'm slipping back to where I was.

    In addition to all of that, I've not spent the last eight months working with the same person on the same shift, and he's an NPR loving liberal GenX bugman who looks like a cross eyed uglier version of Matt Forney and CONSTANTLY talks shit about Trump. At first it was easy to ignore him, but now I just feel like punching him in the face every single time he talks. He also talks shit about the "closet Trump supporters" and goes out of his way to try and make friends with all the dindus on board even though none of them like him. Also, he recently claimed to be an Indian and it reminded me of MoMan's thread on the old Hall called "I'm part Cherokee" which showed a picture of the Cherokee supreme court and they were all self hating chalkies.

    tl:dr Contra's descending back into bitch mode.
     
    Last edited: Jul 31, 2018
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  7. SimplyXY

    SimplyXY Doesn't have visible abs

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    Dark week.
    Thoughts if pointlessness, general boredom and he inability to get into anything, tiredness added to the usual self loathing, hatred of the world and thoughts of death.
    I wish I could pick the triggers for this
     
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  8. RockMan

    RockMan Doesn't have visible abs

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    Hang in there man, I feel the same way.
     
  9. Hermann

    Hermann

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    Shit bro, I think that kind of stuff just ebbs and flows. Don't get too wrapped up in it. Happens to me for seemingly no reason too. I'll be on a mountain peak (metaphorically) and then I'm in a valley. Just gotta ride the waves man. It all evens out in the end.
     
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  10. Momentum

    Momentum

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    Maybe something to do with the shitty camp food?
     
  11. SimplyXY

    SimplyXY Doesn't have visible abs

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    Could be, but it strikes every now and again even with good diet.
     
  12. Hermann

    Hermann

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    This is a super accurate description of me at my job in Indy.
     
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  13. SimplyXY

    SimplyXY Doesn't have visible abs

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    Another attack. Stiff muscles, general depression and feeling of pointlessness.
    Beh.
     
  14. Hermann

    Hermann

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    I've been going through small cycles of highs and lows recently.
     
  15. HammerOfThor

    HammerOfThor

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    I've always used my depressive declines to my benefit. I carve out time for myself to be alone so I don't endanger anyone while I consciously employ all of my triggers...music, alcohol, drugs, pointed thoughts...and I filter them all through esoteric ritual action. It helps me to hit the trough really fast compared to just riding it out naturally so I can be back ontoward a peak sooner. Sometimes I'll learn something deep and useful to take back into my life when I'm in the trough, like Odin picking up the runes after nine nights on the tree. I've been harnessing my depressive cycles for two decades.
     
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